Monday, 12 May 2014

What I am Afraid of

I am not really afraid of much. But I do feel that some of the things I am afraid of are rather stupid sometimes.

One of my internal and personal fears is the fear of failure.
It has taken me a while to figure this one out, but I have quite the fear of failure, or at least I have developed it over these few years at university. I am going to share with you a very personal and recent anecdote of mine. If any of you have questions, ask me, I will share!
It came to a head about a month ago where I managed to get myself so wound up about my looming dissertation deadline (which I had been struggling with since October last year), every time I sat myself down to do the dissertation, I ended off giving myself horrific migraines. This is all because I had been told that I wasn't going to pass the dissertation. I sat down with my Dad and he basically said that I may have reached my educational level and that I maybe should drop the dissertation, and graduate without honours and concentrate on finishing the degree.
This distressed me, but, at the end of the day, I knew he probably was right. So with much worry and stress, I dropped the dissertation. I may regret it in the future, but I probably would have failed the year if I had continued with it.

Now for my daft fears.
I am petrified of bees...

Like stupidly scared. I will leave the room and my heart will pound and I sometimes feel like crying if I see one. I believe this fear came from me being stung as a child when a bee flew up my sleeve. This is all made quite amusing because my name, Melissa, actually means Honey Bee in Greek;
Wikipedia on Melissa

I also have a weird fear of Electricity Pylons, Wind Turbines, and Cooling towers. I have no idea why I have this fear, but I know I don't really like driving past them when they are close, or walking near them. Ugh it just creeps me out!

I do not know how I will conquer my fears, and I probably won't.
But I'll be fine, they don't debilitate me or anything.

Love, Melissa xx

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